Sometimes people don't even realize that they are hurting someone by their mere honest gestures. I turned around, smirked at myself and continued walking, they went in the other direction playfully talking and playing with each other. I realized it was longer a walk than i expected or not expected it to be. It was not such a big deal if i think of it in all the practical sense of life but it was important for that emotional part of my life which i am choosing to ignore more than often. I am trying to teach myself that being emotional is not treated as respectfully as it appears to be, people respect those who remains tough despite of all the venom life is spitting on you but not those who put their hands up asking "What did i do to deserve this", they are called losers in today's age and i certainly don't want to be called a loser for my own egoistic self. So i walked on still with a smirk on my face being tough, although deep inside i was crying loud so much that i almost heard it but then what good a tear is if there is no one to wipe it off your face. Although i couldn't see them anymore, not that i dared to look back but i imagined the rest of it and it was not helping in any way.
It is true! Being alone is not tough unless you are made to feel it not just by yourself but by the so called "not single" people around you. I never came to know whether it's a pity or a proud feeling of not being "like me". People say it's not the toughest part, it's yet to come and that uncertain fear is what makes me loose all the hope to be in a condition I might never will be in if not for all the "experienced" people telling me what will definitely happen, predicting the time which they themselves haven't seen yet. Should i believe them just for the sake of "It just might be true" or may be not and leave my life on fate not expecting anything or expect even worse, like i can do that :).
There is so much you can learn from life everyday and what it actually means is if you apply what you learn, you can might be less hurtful than usual, you might avoid few situations you might fall in if you don't learn but can anyone learn it ever. We all do mistakes all the time, some of the extremists call it "living the life", such a rare notion. I wish there were more people not telling how badly i performed but to tell me they are around even if i fail but i guess most of them are busy celebrating the top performers. Results are still not out for me but didn't i fail already.
BTW - Happy Diwali :)
