Embarking a new journey, it might not be such a big step as i am making it appear or may be it is. In a way, it's good that I will finally get to meet "B" and i am very excited about it but at the same time, I have to leave everyone else behind which ties my feet. I remember the time when I was moving to Hyderabad and "A" sent my resignation cause I just couldn't gather the courage to press the send button. She met me outside with "R" and she had tears in her eyes. I had anger in my eyes though, cause it was not what I wanted. They despised me and the first heart break as a young guy (strange, I didn't get my first heart break cause of a girlfriend :)). I stood there with a bag I used to carry on my shoulders with lifeless limbs, thinking "How could they do this to me" and left never to look back but I did, a lot of times and in a way blame both of them for where I am today. Have I not moved to Hyderabad, it would have been a completely different life but may be I would have met all those wonderful people I did, may be it is all destined. "Maktub"!
Anyway, here I am again, going to a foreign land with nothing but a single dream in my eyes. When will I focus on my life, when will I start thinking about myself which I expect others to do on my behalf. I am sick of moving on, I want to settle at a place with a small group besides me with whom I grow old with, why I can't it be like that. I always feel I am born in a wrong era, and the reason I am struggling so much dealing with emotions. I read somewhere, you see the world how you would like it to be rather than how it is and combining this with the first trait just makes it extra messy.
Alas, here I am with my messed up life, where the most suited ones keep telling me to change and this ain't the "ideal" way to lead. "B" told me once "you are not the only good person in this world, there are many many more" and it brought some sense into me. But, whenever I think about it, I tell her in my mind, "B, but how many can keep living with it and be happy. I wish to attain that, that's my destiny".
I know I ain't going to be Ambani or Bill gates but I will not throw my life away, I will make it enough to do well but I wish I do it on my own terms and not forced to change a lot.
Anyway, here I am again, going to a foreign land with nothing but a single dream in my eyes. When will I focus on my life, when will I start thinking about myself which I expect others to do on my behalf. I am sick of moving on, I want to settle at a place with a small group besides me with whom I grow old with, why I can't it be like that. I always feel I am born in a wrong era, and the reason I am struggling so much dealing with emotions. I read somewhere, you see the world how you would like it to be rather than how it is and combining this with the first trait just makes it extra messy.
Alas, here I am with my messed up life, where the most suited ones keep telling me to change and this ain't the "ideal" way to lead. "B" told me once "you are not the only good person in this world, there are many many more" and it brought some sense into me. But, whenever I think about it, I tell her in my mind, "B, but how many can keep living with it and be happy. I wish to attain that, that's my destiny".
I know I ain't going to be Ambani or Bill gates but I will not throw my life away, I will make it enough to do well but I wish I do it on my own terms and not forced to change a lot.
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